How do you use social media?

Limerick:

There once was a user so keen, Who gazed at their screen, in a dream. 
Their Facebook and Twitter, 
A digital glitter, 
Revealed secrets they'd never foreseen.

Villanelle: 

In the glow of my screen, I divine, 
A flat crystal ball, pixelated and bright. 
Status updates swirl, a cosmic sign. 
Twitter's constellations, stars align, 
Tweets like shooting stars, fleeting flight. 

In the glow of my screen, I divine. 
Facebook's oracle, where friends intertwine, 
Likes and shares, a celestial rite. 
Status updates swirl, a cosmic sign. 
Instagram's filter, a mystical design, 
Selfies and sunsets, day into night. 

In the glow of my screen, I divine. 
Snapchat's ephemeral visions entwine, 
Messages vanish, like comets in flight. 
Status updates swirl, a cosmic sign. 
But beware, dear seeker, lest you decline, 
For the crystal ball's glow can deceive outright.
 
In the glow of my screen, I divine, 
Status updates swirl, a cosmic sign. 

Story: 

Once upon a time, in the land of Wi-Fi and hashtags, there lived a curious soul named Alex. Alex was no ordinary person; they possessed a unique gift—the ability to peer into the future using their flat-screen liquid crystal ball, also known as their smartphone. 

Every morning, Alex would wake up, grab their phone, and plunge into the digital depths. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter—the holy trinity of their prophetic journey. The screen glowed like a mystical portal, revealing glimpses of fate and fortune. 

Alex’s friends thought they were merely scrolling through memes and cat videos, but little did they know that Alex was deciphering cosmic messages. Each post, each emoji, held a hidden meaning. The algorithm whispered secrets: “Your ex will text you today,” “That job interview? It’s in the bag,” “Avoid the red velvet cake—it’s cursed.” 

One day, Alex stumbled upon a cryptic tweet: “The path to enlightenment lies in retweets.” Intrigued, they hit the retweet button, and suddenly, their life changed. The stock market soared, and Alex became a millionaire. They bought a crystal ball-shaped swimming pool and invited influencers to float on inflatable unicorns. 

But not all visions were rosy. Instagram’s Stories foretold a breakup, complete with tear emojis and a dramatic unfollow. Alex tried to change fate by posting sunset photos and cryptic captions, but alas, the breakup still happened. The crystal ball had spoken. 

Twitter’s trending topics revealed global events: “Aliens land in Times Square,” “World peace achieved through cat videos,” “2024: The year of the avocado toast revolution.” Alex retweeted them all, hoping to nudge destiny toward a better timeline. 

Late one night, while scrolling through LinkedIn (because even prophets need a professional network), Alex received a connection request from Destiny herself. The profile picture showed a nebula wearing oversized glasses. Destiny’s headline read, “Cosmic Consultant.” 

They met at a virtual coffee shop, where Destiny sipped her celestial latte and said, “Alex, your crystal ball is powerful, but remember: free will trumps algorithms. You can’t predict everything.” 

Alex nodded, realizing that life was more than retweets and filters. They closed their apps, stepped outside, and looked up at the stars—the original liquid crystal ball. The constellations whispered ancient wisdom: “Follow your heart,” “Be kind,” “Don’t believe everything you read online.” 

And so, Alex put down their phone, embraced uncertainty, and lived each moment without hashtags or notifications. The crystal ball remained silent, but the universe sang—a symphony of serendipity. 

And that, my friends, is how Alex learned that the best predictions come from within, not from a glowing screen. So next time you scroll through social media, remember: your destiny isn’t in the pixels; it’s in your heart. 

Disclaimer: This blog post is a work of fiction. No smartphones were harmed in the making of this story. Please consult a real-life crystal ball for accurate predictions.123

“See, the world is full of things more powerful than us. But if you know how to catch a ride, you can go places.”

Neal Stephenson, ‘Snow Crash’

https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/3-hilarious-blogs-laugh-pictures-videos/
https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-bad-social-media-posts-comedy-heaven/
https://theconversation.com/the-chemistry-behind-your-lcd-flat-screen-devices-how-a-scientist-changed-the-world-176936theconversation.com

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